It's Funnier When You Take the Time to Breathe

Elegant, tasteful, stylish, and more organized than a German train station. In a way it seems a bit dreadful that a bride needs to be all these, and possibly even 'whimsical' and 'clever', to boot.

And yet ...

Sometimes you see a little touch that rose organically from a couple who wasn't trying to be clever. They just were.

And they weren't even afraid of maybe even being a little geeky. Because somehow, they managed to relax a bit about the whole event.

And that's when you get touches like this to enliven an otherwise ship-shape, impeccable, mother-in-law endorsable bi-contintental wedding. No Big Ben centerpieces. No Big Apple groom's cake. No bridesmaids in checkerboard sashes.



Just this: clever. Funny. Perfect.

Essential Wedding Cake Geek Chic, Newer & Reviseder

Oh, there's so much I'd like to write about, on Very Serious Subjects, such as bridal fashion. (You in the back ... shhhh. Like I said, this is serious.) Alas, all that will have to wait until that bright, bright day when I have a brain. Because right now, my better half is out of town, leaving me in peace to work, eat paté-like substances with my fingers at the keyboard, and shower only fitfully. As a result, I'm planning an online 60-hour marathon, which is great for quantity, but quality? Not so much.

That explains today's post, on geeky grooms cakes. Hasn't the Web seem enough of geeky cakery already? Actually, I'm betting not. There's just something about the unholy marriage (pardon the pun) of the two that, geek or civilian, we all find irresistible.

Before I continue and potentially get splatted with "jumping on the bandwagon" virtual tomatoes, let me attempt to establish a bare minimum of Geek Cred. The license plate on my peeling '95 Honda actually does read "GEEKGRRL," to the horror of my older neighbors, who like to say things like, "but you're such a NICE girl!" (Hey, as long as they're saying "girl" instead of babushka or Madam Mumsytub, I'm all ears.)

To the younger, hipper, and certainly thinner Generation Y set I'm sure it looks like iM tRY-iNg 2 hrD, but the fact is, I really do like the original Star Trek, own a soldering iron (I even know how to stick weld), am trying hard to give the BBC's new Doctor Who a fair shake, and have been known to drop some hoppin' LEFT JOIN statements into my morning SQL, if only grudgingly.

Anyhow, on to the good stuff. Let me know your reactions, faves, and "whaaaaaaat?"s if you made it all the way through.



Yeah, I know, you seen these cakes so often your optometrist can trace their outlines in your retinas. Their purpose here is to set the benchmark: these two are the undisputed Napoleon and Josephine of geek cake world. Plus, you may have known that the hot bride on the left was part of an interfaith wedding (she married a non-gamer), but you might not have known the incredible detail that went into that tower of goodness.

"As you can see, the bottom layer is my fabulous Xbox 360. On top of that is my PS2 and the next layer is my Xbox. If you look closely enough, you can see the DVD remote sensor in a controller port. Topping [it all] is the limited edition 'Legend of Zelda' gold GameCube." (BoingBoing.)

Imagine communicating all that someone whose job consists of translating Alstroemeria into sugar paste.

Now onto, possibly, less known forays into dark and geeky alleys.

Left: Groom's Cake, BigDonCarlos. Right: Alliance Party cake, CakeCraft.

My brother, who's some kind of big neufchatel in World of Warcraft (and just got back from BlizzCon), tells me that it's a bit rare for diehard WoWers to find the time to get married, but I figure if he does, he'll be calling up the genius at CakeCraft. Anyone can appreciate that kind of talent. And to think that wasn't even for a wedding (but I reckon it probably convinced her guy to initiate one right off).


Left: iPod Cake by KiwiCakes. Right: iPhone Cake at iCruise_Flickr.

I had to make an editorial decision: to include or not to include cakes that weren't actually grooms' cakes? I chose the former, when necessary, IF they were so well done they could show up at a swank affair and fit right in. Like, this iPod cake — this would be my husband's if you passed on the pink, and snuck it from under his epidermis long enough to give the cake artist a chance. Actually, he's a Zen Creative guy. But whatever.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Nintendo Groom's cake at Mistybp99; Nintendo Groom's cake at PhillipWest; Xbox Groom's cake at Scuzzi; Wii Groom's cake at rufus50; Xbox Groom's cake at AboutTheCake; Xbox birthday cake at IGN.

Obviously, Gamer cakes are très au courant. Which means they provide the perfect foil for the next set of cakes, so piognantly yet unironically retro, they represent the shabby chic of the virtual world. Wander much further down this path, in fact, and you're knocking on the door of the Rubik's Cube Groom's Cake.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Laptop Groom's cake by ChocoNancy1; Laptop Groom's cake by Kimmy B; Tetris birthday cake at robbersdog49; Circuit Board cake by LittleMissMoffett.

Remember when Tetris was what cool engineers did with their HPs, and every freakin' company with a website had to plaster on the "circuit board photo" to prove their tech chops, and the "two Oxford-wearing neanderthals shaking hands" photo to demonstrate their affability? Yeah, me neither, thank God.

Left to Right: LOTR Groom's cake at KimberlyG; LOTR Book cake at Karren's Specialty Cakes.

Not much to say about this, except the world is probably host to more Ellesar & Arwen-inspired weddings than you've ever dreamed of, Horatio. Look how normal this couple seems. That's telling.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Link & Zelda Topper at Toyjunkie1; Han & Leia at Sarah Noye; Star Trek Enterprise cake at Aaron's site; Mario & Princess at Chesty Leroux.

Oddly, a Riker & Troi topper proved elusive. But you know they're out there.

Well, this just about exhausts the topic, or at least my wrist supports, so time to sign off with two last examples of interest-piquing geekery: a binary wedding cake, and a Simpsons bridal party portrait. Behold, the binary cake, which just might fly under the radar and completely escape detection by the bifocal crowd. Truly lovely, innit?

Binary Cake from Howard Gees.



I know, it's arguable over whether a monstrous hit program like the Simpsons can be classed with geek culture, but once it starts showing up on cake toppers, I think yes. To the left is an ultra-tasty Simpsons-and-hydrangea combo (you'll never think of blue hydras the same agian, willya?) brought to you by JasonAndHeather, and to the right, an ultra-clever program insert at SimplyErika. Despite its screaming hipness, you could whip up your own in a wisely-spent afternoon at the Simpsons character generator (hat tip to Heather for letting the western world know about it).

Okay, done. What'd I miss?

Tags: geek wedding cakes, geek groom's cakes, geeky cakes

Forever Yours, Faithfully: Ring Bearer Dogs

I'm not going to apologize for my little quirks. We all have our guilty pleasures: trash TV shows, cartoons from our youth, callow celebrities.

Me? I love dogs. I like to fancy myself a dog whisperer. I'm the one getting my hands all stinky at your barbecue because your golden retriever has installed herself somewhere around my right kidney and is demanding perpetual stroking.

Handsome devils from Mobil'Homme and Charlotte Geary

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a vet, and that lasted until someone let me into their doggie O.R., and I watched him lance a giant blood-filled blister on a floppy ear, and had to run out the door with an arm outstretched like a quarterback so I didn't pass out on the floor. And that was the end of that. (Then I wanted to be a jockey ... and then I hit 5'9".)

But I still love dogs. Move me to a new neighborhood and I'll know all the dogs' names months before I catch on to their owners'. So photos of trussed-up dogs in fancy-schmancy affairs like weddings appeals to me, the way that Moon Pies appeal to certain people below the Mason-Dixon line, and Jim Beam appeals to just about everyone right after the post office closes on April 15th.

From TankGirl and Brittany Davis

Though I will say this: people rarely hit the depths when they work dogs into their weddings. The depths are reserved for nuptial dog-on-dog action, like Pamela Anderson's celebrated dog wedding (crashed by Ali G, and rumored to be a Borat segment that later hit the cutting room floor). Today, instead of those dubious siches, we'll be examining the usually delightful presence of the dog in a human wedding.

Photos by Finstr

There's a bit of a giveaway when people bring quadrupeds into the wedding, isn't there? The couple has their game face on. The language is elevated; the clothes sublime; the entourage, tricked out with polished shoes and cufflinks or coiled hair. Then suddenly, in comes Senior Furbaby in the chrysanthemum collar. It feels like we're seeing something a little more personal, like we're actually watching Bella surf the counters at home, or Rufus worm his way between the sheets at four in the morning.

By NudeViking

Sometimes, the dog doesn't even seem to be a witticism. Take this couple. They look so serene and composed. They probably naturally form those classical triangle shapes whenever they're lounging around the flat screen TV at home. She probably tends the garden in one of Charlize's goddess gowns, and he reads Victorian novels when he's not practicing being a peer. The dog most likely has a doctorate in medieval French.

From Chris Moseley and Pearl Grace

If you want your dogs to make you look more elegant, it's smart to have rangy, handsome pooches like these guys. The little ankle-biters get stuffed into dresses, and that's never a good idea.

By Carrie Dixon

Precocious little girl, right? I'm sure she's saying, I hope you know that Humphrey Bogart is alive and well and prefers that premium brand of dog food you bought after that time you left him overnight at the vet's to get snipped.

Oh, and not to get all practical, but if you're planning on having your furbaby / bunny-quote children / etc. in the wedding, you need to make sure it's crystal-clear with your wedding planner and officiant ahead of time. Some officiants get riled about holding a ceremony with a dog involved (though garden or beach venues are typically okay). Some planners have even been bitten by clients' dogs and don't want a repeat.

From Mark Klotz

This unscheduled dog crashed the shot, and totally stole the scene.

How about you? Are you bringing the pups to your nups? And what are they wearing?

Tags: dog wedding, dog ringbearer, flower dog, dog ring bearer