"Help! My Man Won't Marry in Brown!"

They tried to make me wear a brown tux
I said, No, No, No ...

"He won't do it." You hear the wail all over the country. Men, it seems, pose a real challenge when you consider that chocolate brown is probably the most dominant color in weddings, regardless of season.

Or maybe it's more accurate to say women hesitate to pair black and brown, and men, for their own mysterious reasons, find wearing anything but a black tux about as attractive as swapping Ovaltine for Bud as their pre-game brew of choice.

With matters this touchy, it's useful to investigate what might roil beneath the surface of the complicated male mind. Here's some fair bets:

- "Brown isn't a formal color." Time was, you'd wear brown for daytime and maybe church, but it was all black for weddings and funerals, and if you showed up in the dreaded brown, people'd know you got no class or learnin'. Of course, time was, you jostled up against 40 other kids in a one-room schoolhouse, poured molasses on your pancakes, and strapped a saddle to the family pig for fun.

Bridesmaids in Brown + Black Tuxes look pretty darn cute, too. Riecheru An

- "Marry in brown, you'll live out of town." Perhaps it's this ancient Irish wedding proverb that gives your man pause. "Out of town," here meaning you're doomed to country bumpkinhood, wearing homespun and knocking back dandelion wine instead of brandy on holidays. Probably not, though, since the next line is, "Marry in black, wish you were back," meaning "back at the singles bar."

- "Eh, I don't know." Translation: your fiancé is recalling some devastating faux pas he made around seventh grade: letting his mom perm his hair at home, or showing up at a small-town school in a pink Izod. Possibly, his memories of his sartorial choices for prom are none-too-reassuring either. Even if he logs almost as many hours on the PlayStation as he does at work, your fiancé now knows, as a grown-up, that powder-blue cummerbands are v.v. bad, and an 'experimental' tuxedo represents another potentially fatal misstep, this time in front of his coworkers.

- "Uh-uh. No way." Deep inside every 501-wearing loveable slob is a man who knows that, if things were different, he'd be too. Transport him to Victorian England, and this ramen-loving guy of yours would reveal his true self: a card-carrying member of some swanky men's club. He'd chow down on roast beef in front of a roaring fire, peek at a friend's poker hand as he taps the ashes from his cigar, pinch the brim of his bowler hat to acknowledge a racy joke, and dab at his ascot to remove that trace of gravy. In short, hidden inside your slouching fiancé is a secret gallant, and your wedding might be his only chance to show it. And men in imaginary Victorian supper clubs, even he knows, do not wear brown tuxedos.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Stephen Geoffrey Chocolate Parisian #282, 2 button double-breasted; same; After Six "Summit" in Mahogany Brown, 1 button single-breasted notch. FUBU Brown Stripe #155, 2-button single-breasted notch; Calvin Klein Cadbury Brown, 2-button single-breasted; Jean Yves Chocolate Premier Two Button Notch.

So, What to Do?

You have a couple of tacks, here.

Manipulation. The fact is, men look stunning in brown formalwear. (Some have said, black men look stunning in brown. Get a clue, sayers! ALL men look GREAT in it!)

While quite a few of your standard-issue rentals in black leave guys looking ever-so-slightly dated, and perhaps a tad like crows on stilts, the brown tuxes on the market are hot, contemporary and ridiculously flattering. If you have Photoshop skillz, perhaps you could cut-and-paste some of the finest models-in-brown-tuxes shots into a crowd that's cheering wildly for your fiancé's favorite football team. Then leave your creation in strategic places around the house, like his pillow. Then, and only then, bring it up in words.

Capitulation. If you take your fiancé's "no" at face value, but you're determined to put your bridesmaids in chocolate brown, you can still dress the men in brown vests and ties. Yes, there was once a rule about brown and black, and navy and black, and white after Labor Day, but every single one of these rules was destroyed on the catwalk decades ago, and not a minute too soon.

But ... brown vests and black tuxes? How will it look? Most brides are wary. Judge for yourself, but personally, I'd call this one of the more elegant color combinations out there.

You can always go to After Hours' "Create-a-Tux" tool and try out different browns and blacks for yourself. I find the hey-presto digital results not entirely convincing, not unlike a photo of Paris Hilton with a blue face, and yet, it might be worth worth your time.

Or perhaps more usefully, here are some photos of the brown/black combo on real-life guys (or at least, dress forms). Personally, I like the darker, less saturated browns more than the redder varieties, but that's just me.

Top to Bottom, Left to Right: After-Hours Tux Tool, Tommy Hilfiger tux with Cognac vest; Gorgeous new husband from TNBride; Chocolate Twilight tuxedo vest from Monkeysuits; Black notch tuxedo with chocolate vest set; Top2BottomKids; brown vest from MarksFormals.


If you're still not convinced, here are a few final options: pick vests in safe but still complementary colors, like latte or bisque. OR, be ultra-clever and match your guys' vests and ties to your bridesmaids' sashes, not their dresses. How much latitude does that give you? Totally enough, right?

Question: So now that you've gotten down to the bottom (all three of you), how do you plan to handle the brown/black dilemma?

Tags: brown tuxedo, chocolate tuxedo, wedding tuxedo

From the Not-Quite-Normal Files: Owl Obsessions

I can never get enough of the whole bird-and-twig motif you see floating around West Elm, hip fabric designs and the like. Even before Holly made birds THE herald of the design-obsessed, I'd caught the bug. I've already posted once about a fabulous bird-theme wedding, and the finger's posed on the trigger to post still more, more, MORE!

But not today. Today's a wrinkle, a spin, a subset of the bird and twig thing. That's, like, different. Right?


Sweeter-than-sugar vintage owls. Orange flower cake by We Take the Cake; Yellow Owl print by Sugarloop, Etsy; Gilded Owl earrings by Anthropologie.

So let's talk owls. You don't have to spend many hours digging through Etsy before you see the owl thing taking shape. There's legions of them. And they're very, very cute.

And fresh. I see these adorable little guys being perfect for a couple who's planning their wedding outside the box. There are so many cute applications: night owls, for a pair of Red Bull-fueled programmers, for example. Then there are the couples with pet names for each other: turtle, bear (and owl, of course). Have one drawn with glasses or any other personal tic (that Betty Boop tattoo?) and your friends and relatives will catch the resemblance right away.


Autumn-owls. Florals and copper-wire boutonniere by Brides.com; Owl & flowers card by Patina; bouquet at Grace Ormonde.

Now, before we talk about the perfect owls, let's talk about the wrong owls. The wrong owls not only chain-smoke Gauloises, they lean toward things like: Harry Potter. Halloween. Ultra-realistic Audubon style imagery with scary eyes and ruffled feathers. Wondrous though they be, those are not our owls.



Ours are children of that beautiful geometric tradition that renders flowers as two circles on a stick. We love them owls. The only thing that could makes these guys cuter is to moosh two of them together on the same branch. That, my friends, is love.



I see the owl theme taking shape like this: you find one or two of those indispensable artists on Etsy, and have them develop some dual-owl imagery for your custom stationery, programs and so on. I see the owls going in an upbeat autumn direction (with just a touch of rustic, but only the tiniest), or spring colors like pink or mint. I also see them in a full op-art, pop-crazy brights setting, with big geometric leaf patterns as a backdrop.



Then, you go to Ann Wood. Yes, we've all seen Ann Wood on more blogs than the threadcount in your Pratesi sheets, but did you know she can do all KINDS of birds? The woman is a marvel. And I bet some sweet talking would land you a pair of nuptial owls for your cake topper. And yes, by God, I really would treat an Ann Wood creation as a keepsake and display it after the day, whereas your average 'keepsake topper' appeals about as much as the thought of storing kimchee in my eyeballs.



Oh, a final twist with some Olde English sweetness: if two owls doesn't flip your skirt, reach back to some rugrat romance and pair the owl with his first true love, the pussycat.


So, which owls grab you you (if any)? The pink LOVE owls? The soft and shabby or mod black & white ones? What slightly left-of-center design ideas are you tossing around for your wedding?

Love (Them) Cuffs: It's All in the Wrist

Images from Modern Bride

You don't have to look at many fall bridal magazines to notice all the wrist action. In fact, after you see couple dozen of these blushing brides with big bracelets, the bride who goes without almost starts to look like a featherless bird.

Where does all this come from? Well, giant-sized jewelry (even paste will do) has fashion directors enthralled. Rings that loom over three fingers? It's laughable. And yet ... charming.

And while most brides aren't going to don a 2-inch diameter costume ring to be in step with the times, the cuff's another matter. For one thing, it seems like the missing piece we've always needed to set off those sleek, toned-down silhouettes of today's more minimalistic strapless gowns.

There's an 80s throwback feel to it, too. These aren't dainty little straps around the wrist: these are punk princess baubles. Sure, they might be comprised of precious metals or more, but their aesthetic is hardly nostalgic or demure. In fact, for all the sparkle, it's practically industrial. Bonus: a chunky cuff slenderizes the arm.

Playbook for This Look

Be Discreet. Chunky means lots of volume, not big beads. This is not the place for dangly charms, hunks of rose crystal or beautifully chaotic nests of silver wire that detract from your dress. On the other hand, seed pearls, crystals, and silver and gold are perfect, as long as they're arranged simply. Let the materials take a step back, while the overall shape steps forward.

Go Wide. Skip the girlish little chain around the wrist and go for cuffs or many-stranded bangles. Or: pile two substantial bracelets on top of each other. They don't have to match!

Hello, Handsome. You want classic, repetitive metallics or monochromes: a bracelet tailor-made for today's revised menswear craze. Avoid floral inlays or distracting flashes of color ... but just plain flash is more than fine.

Top to Bottom, Left to Right: Smoky Gray (Steel) Peyote Cuff, LiTelle at Etsy, $33; Linear Bangle by Sonja Bene, price available on request; 11-row rhinestone bracelet at Michelle's Vintage Jewelry (sold). Aarikka Finland Cuff at Michelle's Vintage Jewelry, $45; Wide Dimensional Rhinestone Bracelet at Michelle's Vintage Jewelry, $198; Elizabeth Showers Teardrop Cuff. 'Freedom' bracelet in sterling silver by Wayan Asmana at Novica, $110; Yemenite filigree sterling silver cuff bracelet by Dekel at Etsy, $490; 'Rivers of Life' bracelet in sterling silver by Made Sriasih at Novica, $88.95.

Tags: wedding trends, wedding jewelry, wedding bracelet

Say "Yellow" to the New Pink

Pink-weary brides take note: there's a fresh alternative flowing from the fashion mags.

Yellow seems poised to take a bite out of pink for brides who want something crisper, brighter and newer.

But ... yellow? Isn't that one door down from lavender, in a land where fuzzy baby bunnies romp over crocheted lavender and tea towels?

Not necessarily. Yellow looks totally today, as long as you steer clear of the soft lenses and field daisies. Here are a few ways to keep it real.

Click image for larger.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Stylized butterfly and flora cake, The Cake Girls; Plumeria blossom invitation, Elegant Handmade Creations; Rununculous cake, the Cake Girls. Reception design by ClothConnection; individual monogrammed cakes by The Cake Girls; frosted daisy take-out boxes by FavorIdeas. Vintage cake topper, VelvetFinch at Etsy; yellow rose petals by Pick a Petal; parrot tulip bouquet at Brides.com. Daisy cake by Gail Watson, NYC from MarthaStewart.com; couture rose by Martha Stewart; rose and lemon cake decor at Brides.com.

- Color Block. Take a tip from home interiors and go for fresh-looking bouquets filled with chunky, alpine-white flowers. Then pop in a few super-bright yellows (like daffodils or parrot tulips) here and there for contrast. Don't try to blend them.

- Cozy Up. Pair yellow with other high-energy colors, like tangerine and chartreuse. Or even crisp monochromatics: try gray, or black and white.

- Time Travel. Yellow is tons of fun with a tongue-in-chic vintage theme (think, fifties cake topper kitsch.)

- Beyond Solid-arity. Defy expectations by leveraging plenty of crisp, oversized patterns like swiss dots, lattice or geometric florals.

Most of all, don't forget that a punchy yellow has the power to make the brightest-white wedding even brighter and more contemporary. And it's feminine, but not even slightly gushy. So if pink and its usual cohorts (chocolate brown, magenta, lavender, orange) have got you yawning uncontrollably, it might be time to give this primary another look.

Tags: yellow wedding, wedding colors

Maggie Sottero Rocks the Red Gowns

Red wedding gowns are cool, right? A lot of us who couldn't actually pull the trigger and walk down the aisle in a full-on red dress really admire them.

There's a drama to a full, elaborate bridal gown in red that no other color can match. It's like the visual equal of "Like Water for Chocolate." Or a Jerry Hall lipstick, capable of moving a face from girlish to womanly in a few strokes. Or a seductive twentysomething Madonna at a dinner club (according to Rupert Everett). Okay, I could go on, but you get the point.

So it was cool to hear from a reader, Shelene (thanks Shelene!), that Maggie Sottero had come out with a lot of red dresses, with some stunners. "A lot" is about the same as "two" for a lot of design houses, but Maggie Sottero had more. Which is nice, because it seemed like colors might be cooling off a bit on the bridal world.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Amara Royale, Fiorenza, Stella. Brittanya, Capri, Amour Brooch. By Maggie Sottero.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

I really like Maggie Sottero. The dresses are mid-priced, so if you really, really want one, you can probably pull it off. And there's a whimsy and a playfulness with them I just don't see much of elsewhere. When you look at bridal gowns on the catwalk or magazine ads, you get the impression that picking the perfect wedding gown is roughly the same as taking over an aging nuclear power plant. There's much too much seriousness. And a lot of stale heroin chic. The overall effect can be really ... yawn.

 

Maggie Sottero isn't afraid to get over-the-top romantic, but there's a lightness there. And some gowns are obviously influenced by Europe's bolder colors ... and Bollywood (yay!). So even if you're slightly chicken about what you actually walk down the aisle in, there's plenty of fantasy material to chew on, just in case that Sassy Punk Girl takes over during that all-important moment when you hand over the credit card.

 

Personally, I drool over that gorgeous, drop-waisted Stella with the sexy red belt. I would so wear that, if my hips approximated the model's instead of advertising my awesome childbearing abilities. And that's another of the cool things about these gowns: even as an accent, red gets used in some fresh ways.

 

Take a look at their current collection (be prepared for a big page load ... but it's so worth it). Which of the red (or "red-like") gowns are your favorite? The buzz seems to center on Amara Royale, but let's be all scientific and take a poll.

Peacock Blue Mood Board

One of the really fun things is to pull off a wedding infused with trends and color schemes that are setting the fashion and interior design worlds on fire. Right now.The way not to do that is read the usual bridal magazines. By the time the trend shows up there, it's on its way out.

So be canny. Be clever. Check out some color combos real world designers are going gaga for (since as Vera Wang's famously groused, "bridal fashion" and "real world fashion" are light years apart).

Clockwise: Indigo & Gold Swirl Silk, Teal & Gold Paisley Brocade, Gold Chair Tassel, Teal Pandora Silk, Copper Pearl Silk, all by ClothConnection.

One of those combos is teal and blue. Or aqua and green. Any of those underwater palace hues. Not coincidentally, these are big, sumptuous colors that also evoke the East, something else we can't get enough of ever since Bollywood started to make its sequin-laden, booty-shaking inroads into our viewfinders. And maybe because of how these trends mesh, the glorious peacock's showing up everywhere from high-end bed and bath to haute wallpaper.

 

Best of all? You can start dipping into this blueliciousness now, picking up points for your awesome style in the process. Not in 2009, when everyone and their annoying copycat cousin is having a peacock blue wedding.

 

Right now the peacock gets interpreted in a couple of ways: one, textural and romantic, and another, geometric. Romantic (duh!) is what brides usually go for, so let's focus there.

 

Don't forget, though, that peacock doesn't automatically equal "East Indian." It's also Vintage. Or Art Deco. Or Southern Plantation. And it's not amiss at a wedding with Moroccan or Arabian overtones, or even Medieval. So don't forget to make it yours.

Click Image to View Larger. Top to Bottom, L to R: Chair tassel by ClothConnection, Hindi-Style cake by Grandma's Secrets, shimmering petal cones by Moments of Elegance. Peacock Place Card Holder by Reed & Barton, boutonniere photo by BeckettMW, Donna Ricco Shirred Silk Dress at Nordstrom. Textiles/Linens by Wildflower Linens, Nadri Chandelier earrings at Nordstrom, Peacock Quills Invitation by Baron Cards. Peacock Placemat by Z-Gallerie, Allie Renee at Mon Cheri, cake by Lindy's Cakes.

Reception Tips & Hints

The Colors: Peacock colors are inclusive, so don't be afraid to mix them up. Principals are aqua, teal, olive, indigo. Metallics are copper, bronze, gold. Use lots of shimmer and texture. Place sumptuous, tasselled overlays on linens that complement, don't match.

The Flowers: Exotic blooms are called for. Try orchids, birds of paradise, mini callas in jewel tones, hanging amaranthus and pods (lotus, scabiosa).

The Bridesmaids: They'll look gorgeous in shiny downs of aqua, teal or bronze. Consider long sashes with the ends trailing down beyond the hems, and glamorous peacock feather fans instead of ordinary bouquets.

Feather-trimmed gold organza bag with metallic Jordan almonds, by Rani Deshpande. "Emerald Luna" by JustTheRightShoe.

The Bride: How about a come-hither hair ornament of netting and a few flirtatious feathers?

The Accents: Go overboard on silken tassels and cords. Zone in on blue jewels (real or costume) in vintage-style silverwork, and elaborate chandelier earrings. Make ample use of shiny copper and olive ribbon, but don't tie in bows. Look into "peacock pearls" for some smoky, mysterious bling.

See also: "Pretty as a Peacock" at WeddingBee

Tags: peacock wedding, peacock blue, trendy wedding, wedding colors, southern wedding, indian wedding

Reviving Versailles: Getting Some Antoinette Magic into your Wedding

It might not have racked up new box office records, but Sophia Coppola's Marie Antoinette set off style shocks that are just beginning to peak.

And while fashion moguls everywhere took note of the gorgeous costumes, over-the-top settings and pop princess post-modern sensibilities, it's the wedding scene that's primed to make the most of them.

A lavish, once-in-a-lifetime party, dripping in fab frocks, luxurious linens, towering florals and diamonds? La Reine would approve.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Calligraphy Lady invitations; Spring 2007 gown by Monique Lhullier; Peony bouquet with pink satin wrap; Parisian theme linens. Cream rose pomander; satin wedding dress for dogs at Poochie Heaven; beaded napkin ring. Pink silk bamboo fan at FavorIdeas; pink diamond ring; Scarlett Johansson for Louis Vuitton.

Versaille Theme Cheat Sheet

The Inspiration: Marie Antoinette (duh!). And: Scarlett Johansson's Louis Vuitton ads.

The Motto: More is more.

The Metallic: Gold, gold and gold. Silver, too. Mix them up, but nothing says grand like gold.

The Venue: A grand ballroom with airy, light decor. Look for sandy-colored patterns on the walls (damask, toile), enormous chandeliers, over-the-top molding and drapes-and-valance combos that would crush you if they fell.

Colors: No white (way too modern), and no jewel tones. Focus on the immense range of neutrals on the pastel end of the wheel for your base: porcelain, biscuit, pale pink, peach, oyster, pearl. Accent with frothy, feminine colors that aren't oversaturated: salmon, dusty rose, coffee, celadon.

Textures: Silky damasks in two or more layers. Don't use the same combinations at every table. Do use complementary colors. Other must-haves: feathers (look at vintage shoe clips, hair embellishments, fans, centerpieces, boutonnieres, bouquet collars). Chunky, vintage-style jewelry (chandelier earrings, sparkling chokers). Satin ribbons for lovely necks, bouquet wraps and stationery. Roses and peonies in your rich neutral palette (above).

Must-Have Touches: Gold chargers, luxury napkins folded into fleur-de-lis, silk fans opened on a plate with a handwritten guest tag woven between the spokes, rose topiaries on the tables, corded or braided edging in ivory or gold, letterpressed gold monograms, parasols, satin bows, gloves and ruffles.

Top to Bottom, L to R: Feather fan, Wisconsin History Museum; Fringed damask from ClothConnection; Crystal wedges by Christian Lacroix. Feather-flower shoe clips, Frou-Frou Collection; Kirstin Dunst still from Marie Antoinette; Antiqued "Grace" earrings, Teleecouture at Etsy.

The Fab Finds: Antoinette-worthy gown by (who else?) Monique Lhuillier. Vintage earrings at Etsy. Crystal wedges by Christian Lacroix. Feather-flower shoe clips at Frou Frou Collection.

Spinning It: Diminutive royal pooches were part of the family. No Antoinette wedding's complete without a very small, demurely-accoutred canine companion.

The Viennese pastry table was a constant court fixture: let your guests nibble sweet nothings throughout the night.

Don't Stop There: add champagne fountains with rose petals floating in the basin, and chocolate fountains for the verticality. Pile your sweet treats on towering tiers. Get the best ostrich-plume pen you can buy to go with a watered silk guestbook. "Key to my Heart" bottle openers are prettily vintage and wink at the Dauphin's favorite pastime. A pink diamond ring eludes most of our budgets, but affordable pink sapphire accents are oh-so-Marie.

The Punk Touch: Hot pink signature cosmos, bouquet wraps, table cards. Pink Chuck Taylors for the kid attendants to change into at the party.

Fun Watch

A quick glimpse of some of the film's great visual excesses, set to the tune of Material Girl.

Tags: Marie Antoinette, french wedding, parisian wedding, versailles